culture shock begins...

As with any long trip abroad, there is always a point where one thinks, "What am I doing here? Who am I really?" For most of us in this program, we hit that wall last night after our afternoon class. We have two classes each day - Spanish in the morning at the UCA across town, and Revolution, Transformation, and Civil Society in the afternoon at the CIES near the Colonia. During yesterday´s class, Aynn talked about some of Nicaragua´s most recent history and the impact that the United States has had on the corrupt Nicaraguan governments of the past. Nicaragua is the second poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, and much of this is the fault of the United States. In the US, we may think we understand that the United States has done some bad things to poor countries, but until you see it, you have no idea.

When we walk down the streets, everyone stares. It is the most uncomfortable feeling to know that everyone knows where you come from and judges you because you are associated with something they dislike. Piropos, or cat calls, are abundant - I can´t walk down the street without someone calling me a "chelita" (little whitey), whistling, or anything else that could make one feel disgusting. We are in a bubble here, and we need to understand that this won´t change, no matter how tan we get in this extreme heat and humidity.

Last night I spent an hour with my host mom talking about poverty and reading the prologue of the book I chose to read for my Spanish class entitled, Bananos. She said that most Nicaraguans don´t judge the people from the United States, rather the government. She said they are glad that we come here as students so we can teach our peers and be the change for the future. It is now more than ever that I want to make a difference, but I need more time to figure out how I am going to do so.

Until later - missing you all!

Nicole