A few quick updates as I take a break from paper writing...

Hello everyone! Just a quick update as I am about to leave to visit Masaya for the day with Kendall as a well deserved break from my recent Managua life.

I had a long weekend after my visit to León and Chinandega last Wednesday. In León, I had an unnervingly similar experience to that which I had during the "drop-off" on the third day of the program back in August, and I am pleased to inform all of you that I survived...and I was by myself this time! That´s what I´m talking about, Darwin.

Yesterday, Patricia and I went back to the home of the woman with HIV that we visited two weeks ago, but when we arrived, her mother told us that she had been admitted to the hospital a week ago for an opportunistic infection. I didn´t react for a few hours, but last night, the shock hit me and I absolutely broke down. As an estadounidense with so many opportunities granted to me by my situation, I will never again say, "My life isn´t fair." More on this later.

As a result of this nervous breakdown and the impending due date of my ISP research paper, I didn´t sleep last night, and rather wrote out a section of my paper by hand as is done here in Nicaragua when you don´t have a computer. For the last four days, I have been working on this final monster of a Spanish paper, and much to my surprise, I have actually been writing without procrastinating which I am sure many would agree (cough, cough Lila) is not one of my strengths. As of 9AM today, I have officially finished 13 of the 25 pages I am expected to write, which is the longest paper I have ever written in any language. Only 12 more to go!

In other news...COCKROACHES. I think they are breeding in my room, and it is kind of driving me bonkers, and I am pretty sure they would drive you nuts too...here are some of the latest examples.

Right before I left for Granada, the biggest cockroach I have ever seen crawled across my foot, and in the flurry of my panic, it fell on its back and couldn´t turn back over. I watched it do the fetus dance for a few minutes and then finally told my mamá, who boiled a pot of water and poured it on the roach´s belly to kill it. Phew.

A couple weeks ago while trying to go to sleep, I heard a faint scratching noise, and as a result of my paranoia, I turned on the light to inspect my room only to find a cockroach IN the bag where I keep my shampoo and soap. What would I have done if I had found a snake? Don´t even want to think about it.

The other night while speaking with my parents on the phone, a cockroach literally fell on my face (which probably really scared my mom, sorry!), and once I hung up, I found two more crawling across the floor...errgh.

Finally, this morning at 6:30AM, when I opened my door to head for the shower, I saw a cockroach lying on its back, looking pretty darn dead. I started to slide it in the direction of the outdoor patio-like area with my foot, and suddenly it came back to life and scurried under the oven. Great.

I wonder where the next one will appear...there are only so many more places they can hide.

I apologize this was such a short, disheveled and slightly uninformative entry, but it seems that all of my available computer time lately has been dedicated to this paper. In my wildest fantasies, I will finish it by Sunday so that I will have three days to prepare my presentation, finish my traditional costume, learn a folkloric dance, and perhaps write another update for all of you. I´m going for it!

And finally, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone for tomorrow! I will most likely be eating the usual gallo pinto with my mamá and hermanitos for dinner, but know that I am thankful for all of you and I hope you have a great day!

Love,
Nicole

"Never trust a fart."

This wise advice was given to me over the phone last night by my sister´s dear boyfriend, Nathan. Though he said this is advice he had received from his parents about aging, we both agreed this was true in my current situation as well.

Nathan, this post is dedicated to you. It is now time to complete your end of the deal. :)

This post is inspired by the current intestinal problem I am having as a result of eating Nicaraguan fast food with my ISP advisor in Chinandega...so if you already think fast food is nasty, don´t even try to imagine it down here. Anyway, I went to the doctor today, had a lab test done, and hilariously enough, my results are online at the hospital´s website. I mean really, who puts more information than you would ever want to know about your poo on the internet? The Hospital Metropolitano Vivian Pellas does.

I decided that in light of these recent events, this post should just be a list of the absurd conversations I have been having lately, because I have found that in many of the situations here in Nicaragua, you just have to sit back and laugh and the ridiculousness of it all.

1) Meeting people is always great here, especially if you actually meet them and don´t just receive a cat call or get followed by sloppy kissing noises as you walk down the street. However, every time I meet a new person, I have the following conversation, and I literally mean EVERY time, in the exact same way:

Person: What´s your name?
Me: Nicole.
Person: Like Nicole Kidman?
Me: Umm...no, but I guess my last name does start with the same letter.
Person: How old are you?
Me: 20.
Person: Wow, but you are so little! Are you married?
Me: No.
Person: Do you have any kids?
Me: No.
Person: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No.
Person: (now sounding worried) Have you ever had a boyfriend?

*The thing that really interests me about this conversation: why does everyone ask if I have kids after I say that I am not married? That is Nicaragua for you.


2) The next happened a few nights ago with my mamá and her friend, Carolina. I showed them my new "Sex Life with Responsibility" bracelet, and said it reminded me of abstinence rings. They had no clue what these were, so this is the conversation that followed:

Me: Well, people vow to be abstinent until marriage, because the Bible says that sex is a form of marriage.
Mamá: But what happens if you marry them and you find out that they are small?
Me: Well...doesn´t love conquer all?
Carolina: Love doesn´t conquer everything.
(a few moments of awkward silence)
Carolina: (something in really fast incoherent Spanish)
Mamá: No you ask her.
(more awkward silence)
Mamá: Nicole, have you had sex before?

*On the bright side (is there a bright side?), at least they are comfortable enough to ask, right?


3) I had just arrived in Chinandega, and I was telling Patricia, my advisor, about the people who had come up to me to ask for money in León because I am white...

Me: It just annoys me because they assume that because I am a gringo, I am obviously rich.
Patricia: Well, I am sure that´s what the boys say about you...rich, like a caramello...

*She is a psychologist at a sexual health organization, so I guess I´m going to have to let that one go...


4) Later that day, at the fast food restaurant where I received my current problem, I had to explain to Patricia why I don´t eat pork, but she didn´t really understand the concept of a Jew. The conversation continued, and somehow we got onto the topic of boys and marriage in my religious tradition:

Patricia: So, could you marry a Nicaraguan?
Me: Well, I don´t think so.
Patricia: So Jews are racists.

*That took a little clearing up, and I still wonder if she believes me.


5) Finally, when I returned from Chinandega, the intense intestinal cramps had already begun. I was sitting in the office, doubled over in pain, when the 19 year old boy-next-door, Luis walked in.

Luis: Gringita, what´s wrong?
Me: My stomach hurts really bad...I think I have a bug.
Luis: (whispering while looking at me with knowing eyes) Are you sure it´s not your period?

*This could have been insanely awkward, but (un)fortunately for me, menstruation will always be a regular topic of conversation.


Thanks for reading everyone, I hope these were as amusing for you as they were for me. I have gotten to the point here where awkwardness just doesn´t exist, so I apologize if any of this was too much for any of you. Just be glad I didn´t give you the website for this morning´s test results...

Love,
Nicole

Volcanoes, condoms, and favorite foods...doesn´t get much better than that!

Happy Tuesday everyone! I hope you all had a great weekend, because I know I did!

Here is an update on the latest news from Neecoragua...

On Saturday, Chelsea M. and I made the trek to the island of Ometepe to visit this beautiful girl: Kendall!

Our journey was pretty intense: We got a taxi to the Mercado Huembes at 5AM, then took a two hour bus down to Rivas, a taxi to San Jorge, and finally an hour ferry ride to the island, where we met up with Kendall and took another two hour bus ride to Santo Domingo, arriving at our destination at about 12PM. While it may have taken almost seven hours and consisted of five independent legs, the total cost was approximately $8. Take that, United Airlines.

We spent the next 24 hours relaxing on the island with Kendall, but unfortunately after a fantastic ice cream breakfast, we had to make our way back to the Gua. We arrived home at 5PM, and though we spent a lot of the weekend traveling, it was totally worth it. Here are a few more pictures...

the bananas that escorted us from Ometepe to San Jorge
The Island of Ometepe, on the left is Volcán Concepción, and on the right is Volcán MaderasMe and Chelsea M. on the ferry with Ometepe in the background

Yesterday, I worked all morning then went to Xochiquetzal for another support group meeting. Only one man came, and after he worked with another student, he decided to spend the next hour telling me about himself. My favorite part had to be when he told me this:
"I´m gay, but I love everyone. Everytime I shake someone´s hand, or hug them, or kiss them on the cheek to greet or meet them, I fall in love. I think that you can pass so much love like that, so I love everyone."
Don´t you think that the world would be so much better if everyone had this philosophy?

Today, I worked again in the morning, then went back to Xochiquetzal to meet Patricia so we could go to visit the hospital patients. Unfortunately, due to the marches and violence in the rotundas today in Managua, it was too dangerous to cross town to one of the hospitals, so she sent me home. As some sort of apology gift for making me come all the way to the foundation for nothing, she gave me a red ribbon bracelet that sports the slogan, "Sex Life with Responsibility", as well as tiny condoms with faces. NICE.

Those are the latest fun facts of my life. Tomorrow, I am heading up to León and Chinandega again to interview another organization and hang out at Xochiquetzal.

For now, I think I am going to reward myself for working on endless interview transcriptions with my latest and greatest indulgence...The Office. For those of you who have not been introduced to this masterpiece of modern television, I advise you to try it out; however, proceed with caution because it is highly addictive.

*A few shout outs...that include my food wishes for all of you...
Batesies: Enjoy Harvest Dinner! It is impossible to describe an event like this to a Nicaraguan because the idea that we need two church sized buildings for all the food is unfathomable. Take pictures and stick your heads under the chocolate fountain for me.
Zeta: Breathe, believe, eat some Lindt, and take care of yourself!
Friends abroad: I miss you all! Please let me know how you are doing, as well as describe the best meal you ate in your country today.
Mom and Dad: Give each other BIG hugs because I love you two, and perhaps go for a walk/date to Starbucks for me?
Farty sister, Nathan, and Plush Mister Puddin: Keep doin´what you´re doin´, because you´re doin´ it great. I miss and love you guys so much, and I think you need to eat some monkey bread.
to all others whom I miss (that means you): Life is uncertain, eat dessert first!


Keep writing to me! I love hearing from you.

Love,
Nicole

Another ISP week down, three more to go!

Hello everyone! Another week of the ISP period has gone by and I am feeling nothing short of swamped. I have been having some really great interviews and visits, but I spend so much time traveling to these meetings and working with Patricia that most all of my real work has to happen when I get home. As of right now, I have about five hours of Spanish interviews to transcribe, plus three large books that Patricia gave me on the structure of support groups to sift through, not to mention that I probably should start writing certain parts of my final paper at some point in the near future. Right now it feels like if I survive this, I just might survive my senior thesis next year. I guess we will have to see!

This week I met with different leaders in the HIV community and attended support groups, but the most impactful encounter I had was on Tuesday during a domestic visit. Patricia and I went to see a woman who had contracted HIV five years ago from her husband. She has six children, and currently lives in her mother´s house with about eleven other people. When we arrived, she was lying on the bed, and one of her daughter´s was helping to massage her arm and shake her joints because she was in so much pain. Her legs were covered in sores from an opportunistic infection, and when she needed to go to the bathroom, one of her daughters had to help her up and lead her slowly down the hall because she couldn´t walk. At one point, we sent one of the daughters to see how much an ointment would cost at the pharmacy down the road, and she came back and reported 40 córdobas. Unfortunately, when the other girl looked in her mother´s wallet, they had nothing. 40 córdobas...that is less than two dollars...how does this happen? Patricia and I each gave her 20 and she went to buy it, but that was only this time because we were there. What happens when she needs something else?

In the United States, people can live for years with HIV, but here in Nicaragua and other poor countries around the world, people deteriorate much faster just because they don´t have the money to buy the resources they need. It has only been five years, and this woman is already so close to death. And what did she do to deserve this? Marry a man who decided to cheat on her with an infected person? It is so difficult to comprehend. I stayed up for hours that night thinking about it, and I still don´t know what to think because it is so unfair. Next week, I will be visiting people with HIV in hospitals, and I am worried that this Tuesday´s visit isn´t the worst I will see over the course of this month.

In other news, the elections are finally over, but then again, they are far from over. The Sandista candidate won here in Managua, and the response was outrageous. My aunt started getting drunk at 5PM and played the same love ballad on repeat for two hours. The fireworks after the results were officially announced lasted until 3AM, and every so often another one goes off like a gunshot in the streets. The Sandinistas have loud caravans driving throughout the city, waving flags, playing music, and screaming to the excitement of the children playing in the streets.

Unfortunately, there have been some other issues too - Eduardo Montealegre, the PLC candidate who lost, was really banking on winning the elections in order to gain political immunity. He had been accused of certain illegal doings during his time as finance minister, and therefore really needed this victory to save his butt. As a result, there has been a surge of protests and violence, including a journalist who was attacked a few days ago and two children who got caught in the action. Today, when I went to the university to find some things I needed for my project, they were checking IDs at the all of the entrances and it took me a while to convince them that I had the right to enter. The US Embassy has also been sending out messages, but my mamá says that she things it will die down in the next few days. It is so hard to know what is true - the people are so aligned with their parties that they refuse to admit their party members are participating in the uproar. Also, it is impossible to get a straight story from the news, because all the channels and newspapers lean with certain parties. Who knows if I will ever get the real story!

Other than these sorts of stresses, I am feeling pretty good. This weekend, I will be going with Chelsea M. to visit Kendall on the island of Ometepe, which Nicaraguans call "the most beautiful place on Earth". I am very excited to visit, and it will definitely be a good break from all the problems in Managua. We will be staying on the isthmus inbetween the two volcanoes at Playa Santo Domingo, chilling on the beach, and working on our projects. Gosh...doing my homework on the beach in one of the most beautiful places in the world...what a life!

That is it for today - hopefully I will be able to write and post some pictures when I get back from Ometepe. For now, as a sort of thank you for reading some of the depressing parts of my post or just for taking the time out to come to my blog site, here is something that always makes me happier...pictures and videos of babies and other small children! (especially for you Lila!)

This is Melaña, a girl I met in the campo of El Salvador!
My 10 month old niece, Ashley Nicolle, at my house on Sunday!
My 4 year old niece, Francesca!
A boy I met at one of the support groups I attended this week. I gave him a Hershey´s Kiss, and as you can tell, there is more on his face and hands than in his mouth!


And finally, this is my 10 month old niece again, but this time she is dancing! Note that she can´t stand on her own, so she is leaning against the chair for support...hehe...


Thanks again for reading, and I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Love,
Nicole

I made 135 chocolate chip cookies yesterday...

...and they are all gone. Already.

So much time and so little to do.

Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.

I didn´t think it was possible, but it is finally the weekend and I am still alive! Hopefully I can continue in this fashion until December.

This week has just been way too much. On Wednesday, we took a two hour drive up north to Chinandega to visit their branch of Fundación Xochiquetzal and so that I could meet with someone from the Association of Nicaraguans that live with HIV/AIDS (ASONVIHSIDA). I was really nervous for the meeting, and the recording I have proves it - I laughed nervously before I asked questions, and everything I said was in absolutely incoherent Spanish. Great. Also, considering it was my first real meeting, I had no clue what I should ask, and it didn´t really help when Patricia was walking around us taking pictures of me and interjecting with the questions she thought I should be asking. Only twenty minutes later (I really need to get more comfortable with this interview stuff!) we went back to Xochiquetzal, where I helped Patricia compile her monthly summary of consults in her incredibly inefficient manner (ahhh, the pains of data entry!). Next, we went for a slightly revolting lunch at the Tip Top Express, Nicaragua´s biggest fast food chain. For the rest of the day, I watched an FSLN caravan in the streets while trying to transcribe my interview, and finally at 4:30PM we began the two and a half hour return journey during which we almost got trampled by another political caravan coming down the highway. What a day.

Yesterday was just as stressful - I went to ANICP+VIDA to talk to their president, and he spent three hours explaining the history of HIV and support in Nicaragua, but after about one hour, my brain had already turned into mush...so thank goodness I was recording it. As I was leaving, he invited me to the support group that they were having that afternoon, so I went back to Xochiquetzal where I waited for Patricia for an hour, then went back to ANICP+VIDA for the support group. The group itself was actually pretty awesome - there were about ten people there from all over the spectrum: women, families, drug users, men who have sex with men, homosexuals, and others who all come together twice a month to talk about living with HIV, the one thing they all have in common. I really wish that my brain wasn´t as mushy by that point because I probably would have gotten more out of it, but hopefully I will be able to visit them again for their next meeting on the 20th.

Finally, today I went to ASONVIHSIDA in Managua to talk to the Nicaraguan president of the International Community of Women living with HIV/AIDS (ICW). I was really dreading another interview, but she was actually spectacular, gave me a lot of information (I recorded it, thank goodness) and invited me to the events they will be having for World AIDS Day on December 1st. I am so pumped!

And now? The weekend!! It isn´t going to be an easy one - on top of my research and the four hours of Spanish interviews to transcribe, Sunday is election day. We are currently living through the "Days of Silence" here in Nicaragua, which are the three days without any sort of campaigning prior to the elections. During this time, there is also something called the "Ley Seca" which prohibits alcohol consumption until Monday to prevent people from arriving at the voting centers completely wasted. My mamá will be working at the voting center close to the Máximo, so I will probably be spending my Sunday locked up with a family friend. Daniel Ortega firmly believes that Nicaragua doesn´t need the help of the United States or any other country with their elections, so this is probably the best idea to avoid any sort of craziness that could result from observing at a voting center. Monday is a national holiday as well as my niece´s 4th birthday, so I will be at home free from work all day until...her PIÑATA PARTY!! I know I am 20 years old, but that doesn´t mean I´m not allowed to get excited over kiddie birthday parties.

And, speaking of elections, hoorah for our new president! All of us huddled around in front of the small TV in the study center on Tuesday night, counting down the seconds until the west coast polls closed. Congratulations to Barack Obama and Joe Biden...hopefully the two of you will be able to make wonderful changes in our country and the world in the next four years.

As for Washington state, Christine Gregoire will be continuing as governor, but we are still waiting on the House Representative for my district (C´mon Darcy!!). Also, following the lead of Oregon, euthanasia is now legal in the WaWa. What an intense election!

That´s it for now...I hope everyone has a great weekend, and keep me updated on the news of your lives!

Love,
Nicole

What a day to be an estadounidense!

Happy Election Day everyone! I hope you are all enjoying this extraordinarily historical day. Here is a quick update on what I have been doing lately, as well as a little bit about the political atmosphere down here in the belly button of the Americas.

First of all, I would like to thank everyone for their comments and emails regarding my last couple posts - I truly love getting your feedback and hearing from you, so thank you again, and keep ´em comin´!

Since last week, life has been a bit of a rollercoaster, but I try to tell myself that this is a good thing. On Saturday, we had a sort of "vacation" day, and a whole group of us went to the Tren Cultural in Masaya to learn about Nicaragua´s post-war literacy campaign in 1980. It was incredible - teenage kids signed up to be part of a literacy brigade and went out to the campo to teach the population to read. Anywhere between 50 and 70 percent of many of the municipalities in Nicaragua were illiterate at that time, and these kids did amazing things to help their people. It was so crazy and inspiring to watch videos of adolescent kids teaching middle aged and older people how to read and write. Like Doctor Seuss said, "A person´s a person, no matter how small"...that just shows what kids CAN do! After the Tren, we went to Laguna de Apoyo, a lake in the crater of a volcano. It was wonderful - a great touristy break to eat a sandwich and enjoy the warm water. Gotta love it.

Yesterday was our last day of classes. We had a debate about the Culture of Peace and our last ISP prep, in which we were given our stipend, then set free. I seriously almost freaked out. Me? Alone? In Managua? Surviving? I guess we´ll see!

This morning, Chelsea and I made and ate banana chocolate chip pancakes as if it was going to be our last meal. Below are a few pictures of our process, and my mom devouring some of the magic as well (¡Que rico!).
the professional pancake flipper!
sorry it´s sideways (I don´t know why), but don´t they look delicious?
then we enjoyed them...mmm...
and my mamá loved them too!

At 9AM, after stuffing myself, I made my way to Xochiquetzal for my first day of ISP. I was absolutely terrified - and really, I still am. I waited for two hours for my advisor, then read a bunch of stuff, then talked to her about my schedule for the next month, took a break, and finally went to meet briefly with the board members of ANICP+VIDA. It was quite a stressful day, between trying to find my way to the organizations (taxis, buses, etc.) and actually trying to understand their ridiculously fast speech in a Nicaraguan accent...I don´t know how I got back here in one piece; but really, I probably survived it due to the fact that I ate a completely melted yet completely worth it Snickers bar during my lunch break.

Anyhoo, the current plan is to go off at 6:30AM tomorrow to Chinandega to meet with another organization called ASONVIHSIDA, spend time other days with ANICP+VIDA, visit homes and hospitals, attend support groups, and take part in whatever else occurs in the next month in the Nicaraguan HIV world. I am excited but really hoping that I will succeed - my advisor said that I am super important because no one has ever written down or reported on support for people living with HIV in Nicaragua, and my work will really advance their progress in supporting people living with this disease...I really hope I don´t let them down!

And finally, the ultimate stressor...ELECTIONS...and I am not just talking about US elections, I mean Nicaraguan elections, too. Nicaragua has municipal elections this Sunday, and there has been a history of violence in the past. Even my little 11 year old sister went to a rally for the FSLN yesterday, and there are posters all over the place and people protesting everywhere from all over the political spectrum. In addition, a couple people were stabbed in a rotunda a few days ago. For reals...this is what elections can be like in other countries.

Considering, however, that they have their own elections to worry about, the Nicaraguan people are very interested and informed about our elections as well. I woke up this morning at 6:30 to news radio reporting the latest US election headlines, and every channel on the TV was reporting even the most mundane election news. The way that the Nicaraguans talk about the elections, they really know their stuff, and they really care about what happens in our country because it affects them pretty directly. I guess I used to be a cynic about US politics, but now I feel like my vote actually means something because I am just lucky to have some sort of say in the future of the United States government.

I guess we will see what happens, because in my opinion, this election will say a lot about our country and world. A bunch of us will be watching the elections in the office tonight (a lot of people chose to leave tomorrow for their projects just so they could be here for the election), as well as a group of American Jesuit workers, and another study abroad program that is spending time in Managua.

Below is what I saw on the white board when I came into the office this morning. Who knows what tonight is going to be like...


Thanks for reading, and I look forward to hearing from you! Stay safe, warm, and happy, and perhaps you will hear from me when we have a new president!

Love,
Nicole