Greetings from Bellevue, Washington!

It's true, I'm officially back in the United States! It had been a difficult few days back in Managua, and now I am home in the loving arms of my estadounidense family.

I had an especially hard time saying goodbye to my mamá, and I still don't really know how I feel. The transition back in the life in the United States has been incredibly easy and absurdly difficult in many ways, and I still need some time to adjust to everything.

The Gritería on Sunday night was absolutely insane - at 6PM, the firecrackers started going off everywhere, and everyone started going around to different houses and singing to their altars of the Virgin Mary. The louder we sang, the better the gifts were, so we screamed, and I ending up with about three pounds of sugar, a bag of rice, Nicaraguan candies, orange juice, apple juice, and some tupperware after only three houses. This was by far the best trick-or-treating experience of my 20 years!

On our last night in Managua, we had the closing presentation for our Nicaraguan families, and my mamá and I finally did our dance in our insane costumes. It was slightly embarrassing because I didn't know what I was doing, but it was absolutely worth it to be able to be on stage with her.

And now? It is time to move myself slowly back into my old way of life. For example, I couldn't BELIEVE the price of gas when I was coming home last night...$1.83? I think the last time I saw that price on a gas billboard was when I was 13 years old. It is also really cold, so I am definitely not looking forward to skin-melting-Maine weather in January. But these are the least of my worries...I miss my Nicaraguan family!

Here are some pictures of us from the last night...

With my family. My mamá and I are in the traditional dance costumes that we made, and check out Eduber's sweet shirt that he wore just for the occasion!
with my hermanitos! Eduber and Heyling
My fabulous mama!


Most importantly, I would like to thank all of you for reading my blog and engaging with me during this experience. Your support, encouragement, and thoughts really helped me keep going and I really appreciate all of your interest in my life.

Until next time...¡cuídense y les amo!

Love,
Nicole

¡Dios mío! Only three more days!

¡Buenas a todos y todas! The news of the day: I have finally finished that which I have been dreading ever since I signed up to come on this program - the ISP! Today, we each had to make 20 minute creative presentations in Spanish about our topic... so it ended up being quite a long day. We started at 8:30AM, and only finished at 4:45PM with an hour and a half lunch break. I was super nervous, as usual, but I finished and that is all that matters to me at this point. I can now proudly say that I actually achieved what I once thought was impossible!

On the subject of ISP - last Tuesday, I went to turn in my paper to my advisor, and she told me that the woman we had been visiting at her home had died in the hospital last Friday. It absolutely blew me away - in other parts of the world, people live with HIV for 15 to 20 years, and this woman only had five years because she couldn´t afford treatment. In these situations, I just feel so terrible because I can´t do anything about it, but I want to help so badly. Even more than ever, I know that even though this month is over, my work definitely doesn´t stop here.

In other news, we are now at the Casa San Juan again until Tuesday morning for the Evaluation and Re-entry period. Here we will have our Spanish exit interiews, our final interviews with the academic director, and have a few lectures tomorrow and on Sunday morning about what we should expect as we re-enter the United States. Supposedly, our parents have already received a list of things that shouldn´t surprise them when we get home, like throwing toilet paper in the trash can and refusing to buy anything because it costs too much...so we will see what my family has to say about me upon my return.

Some other exciting events for this coming weekend:
On Sunday, we will be returning to Máximo for la Gritería, a Catholic ceremony that Aynn describes as a mixture between 4th of July for the fireworks, Halloween for the tricks, and Christmas for the presents. That night, everyone will go out in the streets to celebrate the conception of the Virgin Mary, or la Purísima, which is the next day. Basically, it is going to three or so hours of a lot of the locals getting drunk, going to peoples houses and singing loudly/off key in order to get random gifts such as oranges, candies, and toothbrushes. Who wouldn´t be excited for that?

¿Quién causa tanta alegría?
¡La concepción de Maria!
¡MARIA DE NICARAGUA!

On Monday morning, we are going to a beach, and then in the evening we have our closing presentation (when my mamá and I are going to dance!), and suddenly I am on a plane to Miami at 10AM on Tuesday. How did this semester go by so fast?

I am not sure, but this may be my last blog post from Neecoragua...! However, I will hopefully be able do one more once I get home to let you know how it all went this weekend and about my first experiences of reverse culture shock back in the good ol´US of A.

Thanks again to everyone for reading - I really appreciate your interest in what I have been up to over the past few months and for all the comments and emails I have been receiving.

I hope everyone has a great day!

Love,
Nicole

¡Terminé! ¡Terminé!

Greetings folks! A much less stressed and much more exhuberant Nicole here to say hello and tell you all that as of 12 noon yesterday, I HAVE OFFICIALLY FINISHED MY PAPER!

This my friends, is not just 30 pages bound between two pieces of plastic...it is SUCCESS.

It is a wonderful feeling. Earlier this morning, I wrote out my abstracts, so now all I need to prepare is my presentation, which I plan on doing in the breaks between hanging out with my family, making my costume, dancing, and eating ice cream. That´s what I´m talking about.

Here are a few more updates from Managua...

Yesterday, after I finished, I went with my family friends Carolina and Guillermo to their daughter´s graduation from high school.
6th graders in front, 5th years in back

On the way home, we achieved what Guillermito (their son) and I believe to be a new record...10 people in one taxi.

Here is Guillermo looking hilariously squashed in the trunk across from me...note that the trunk door is not actually closed...
Afterwards, I had my first ever Spanish music dance party with actual Spanish speaking people at the graduation party (don´t worry Tom, ours are SO much better). I got a lot of laughs for being the only white girl dancing to Reggaeton with high schoolers, but that is what I live for. On Thursday, I get to do it all over again because I will be going to my little sister´s graduation from 6th grade, for which I am extremely excited.

Other news to report: in addition to my new cockroach friends, the mice have come to my house to hang out. I have only seen one so far, but I swear I hear more of them at night. The reason that this wasn´t a problem before now was because we had a cat named Tufito that did an excellent job at eating them all; however, a couple weeks ago our crazy neighbor poisoned and killed Tufito because he didn´t want his daughter to play with him. Before that, he had also thrown hot oil on Tufito to scare him out of his house. I mean c´mon, does that really merit scorching and killing an animal? Why not just tell your daughter not to play with the cat? This is defintely beyond my scope of comprehension.

Anyway, I am now basically FREE. This Friday after the presentations, we head back to the Casa San Juan for the program evaluation period, and then I come back to the US next Tuesday! It is all going by way too fast.

That´s it for now...I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving, good luck to all the Batesies that are working hard for the finals that are coming up way too soon, and I can´t wait to hear from you!

Love,
Nicole

A few quick updates as I take a break from paper writing...

Hello everyone! Just a quick update as I am about to leave to visit Masaya for the day with Kendall as a well deserved break from my recent Managua life.

I had a long weekend after my visit to León and Chinandega last Wednesday. In León, I had an unnervingly similar experience to that which I had during the "drop-off" on the third day of the program back in August, and I am pleased to inform all of you that I survived...and I was by myself this time! That´s what I´m talking about, Darwin.

Yesterday, Patricia and I went back to the home of the woman with HIV that we visited two weeks ago, but when we arrived, her mother told us that she had been admitted to the hospital a week ago for an opportunistic infection. I didn´t react for a few hours, but last night, the shock hit me and I absolutely broke down. As an estadounidense with so many opportunities granted to me by my situation, I will never again say, "My life isn´t fair." More on this later.

As a result of this nervous breakdown and the impending due date of my ISP research paper, I didn´t sleep last night, and rather wrote out a section of my paper by hand as is done here in Nicaragua when you don´t have a computer. For the last four days, I have been working on this final monster of a Spanish paper, and much to my surprise, I have actually been writing without procrastinating which I am sure many would agree (cough, cough Lila) is not one of my strengths. As of 9AM today, I have officially finished 13 of the 25 pages I am expected to write, which is the longest paper I have ever written in any language. Only 12 more to go!

In other news...COCKROACHES. I think they are breeding in my room, and it is kind of driving me bonkers, and I am pretty sure they would drive you nuts too...here are some of the latest examples.

Right before I left for Granada, the biggest cockroach I have ever seen crawled across my foot, and in the flurry of my panic, it fell on its back and couldn´t turn back over. I watched it do the fetus dance for a few minutes and then finally told my mamá, who boiled a pot of water and poured it on the roach´s belly to kill it. Phew.

A couple weeks ago while trying to go to sleep, I heard a faint scratching noise, and as a result of my paranoia, I turned on the light to inspect my room only to find a cockroach IN the bag where I keep my shampoo and soap. What would I have done if I had found a snake? Don´t even want to think about it.

The other night while speaking with my parents on the phone, a cockroach literally fell on my face (which probably really scared my mom, sorry!), and once I hung up, I found two more crawling across the floor...errgh.

Finally, this morning at 6:30AM, when I opened my door to head for the shower, I saw a cockroach lying on its back, looking pretty darn dead. I started to slide it in the direction of the outdoor patio-like area with my foot, and suddenly it came back to life and scurried under the oven. Great.

I wonder where the next one will appear...there are only so many more places they can hide.

I apologize this was such a short, disheveled and slightly uninformative entry, but it seems that all of my available computer time lately has been dedicated to this paper. In my wildest fantasies, I will finish it by Sunday so that I will have three days to prepare my presentation, finish my traditional costume, learn a folkloric dance, and perhaps write another update for all of you. I´m going for it!

And finally, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone for tomorrow! I will most likely be eating the usual gallo pinto with my mamá and hermanitos for dinner, but know that I am thankful for all of you and I hope you have a great day!

Love,
Nicole

"Never trust a fart."

This wise advice was given to me over the phone last night by my sister´s dear boyfriend, Nathan. Though he said this is advice he had received from his parents about aging, we both agreed this was true in my current situation as well.

Nathan, this post is dedicated to you. It is now time to complete your end of the deal. :)

This post is inspired by the current intestinal problem I am having as a result of eating Nicaraguan fast food with my ISP advisor in Chinandega...so if you already think fast food is nasty, don´t even try to imagine it down here. Anyway, I went to the doctor today, had a lab test done, and hilariously enough, my results are online at the hospital´s website. I mean really, who puts more information than you would ever want to know about your poo on the internet? The Hospital Metropolitano Vivian Pellas does.

I decided that in light of these recent events, this post should just be a list of the absurd conversations I have been having lately, because I have found that in many of the situations here in Nicaragua, you just have to sit back and laugh and the ridiculousness of it all.

1) Meeting people is always great here, especially if you actually meet them and don´t just receive a cat call or get followed by sloppy kissing noises as you walk down the street. However, every time I meet a new person, I have the following conversation, and I literally mean EVERY time, in the exact same way:

Person: What´s your name?
Me: Nicole.
Person: Like Nicole Kidman?
Me: Umm...no, but I guess my last name does start with the same letter.
Person: How old are you?
Me: 20.
Person: Wow, but you are so little! Are you married?
Me: No.
Person: Do you have any kids?
Me: No.
Person: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No.
Person: (now sounding worried) Have you ever had a boyfriend?

*The thing that really interests me about this conversation: why does everyone ask if I have kids after I say that I am not married? That is Nicaragua for you.


2) The next happened a few nights ago with my mamá and her friend, Carolina. I showed them my new "Sex Life with Responsibility" bracelet, and said it reminded me of abstinence rings. They had no clue what these were, so this is the conversation that followed:

Me: Well, people vow to be abstinent until marriage, because the Bible says that sex is a form of marriage.
Mamá: But what happens if you marry them and you find out that they are small?
Me: Well...doesn´t love conquer all?
Carolina: Love doesn´t conquer everything.
(a few moments of awkward silence)
Carolina: (something in really fast incoherent Spanish)
Mamá: No you ask her.
(more awkward silence)
Mamá: Nicole, have you had sex before?

*On the bright side (is there a bright side?), at least they are comfortable enough to ask, right?


3) I had just arrived in Chinandega, and I was telling Patricia, my advisor, about the people who had come up to me to ask for money in León because I am white...

Me: It just annoys me because they assume that because I am a gringo, I am obviously rich.
Patricia: Well, I am sure that´s what the boys say about you...rich, like a caramello...

*She is a psychologist at a sexual health organization, so I guess I´m going to have to let that one go...


4) Later that day, at the fast food restaurant where I received my current problem, I had to explain to Patricia why I don´t eat pork, but she didn´t really understand the concept of a Jew. The conversation continued, and somehow we got onto the topic of boys and marriage in my religious tradition:

Patricia: So, could you marry a Nicaraguan?
Me: Well, I don´t think so.
Patricia: So Jews are racists.

*That took a little clearing up, and I still wonder if she believes me.


5) Finally, when I returned from Chinandega, the intense intestinal cramps had already begun. I was sitting in the office, doubled over in pain, when the 19 year old boy-next-door, Luis walked in.

Luis: Gringita, what´s wrong?
Me: My stomach hurts really bad...I think I have a bug.
Luis: (whispering while looking at me with knowing eyes) Are you sure it´s not your period?

*This could have been insanely awkward, but (un)fortunately for me, menstruation will always be a regular topic of conversation.


Thanks for reading everyone, I hope these were as amusing for you as they were for me. I have gotten to the point here where awkwardness just doesn´t exist, so I apologize if any of this was too much for any of you. Just be glad I didn´t give you the website for this morning´s test results...

Love,
Nicole

Volcanoes, condoms, and favorite foods...doesn´t get much better than that!

Happy Tuesday everyone! I hope you all had a great weekend, because I know I did!

Here is an update on the latest news from Neecoragua...

On Saturday, Chelsea M. and I made the trek to the island of Ometepe to visit this beautiful girl: Kendall!

Our journey was pretty intense: We got a taxi to the Mercado Huembes at 5AM, then took a two hour bus down to Rivas, a taxi to San Jorge, and finally an hour ferry ride to the island, where we met up with Kendall and took another two hour bus ride to Santo Domingo, arriving at our destination at about 12PM. While it may have taken almost seven hours and consisted of five independent legs, the total cost was approximately $8. Take that, United Airlines.

We spent the next 24 hours relaxing on the island with Kendall, but unfortunately after a fantastic ice cream breakfast, we had to make our way back to the Gua. We arrived home at 5PM, and though we spent a lot of the weekend traveling, it was totally worth it. Here are a few more pictures...

the bananas that escorted us from Ometepe to San Jorge
The Island of Ometepe, on the left is Volcán Concepción, and on the right is Volcán MaderasMe and Chelsea M. on the ferry with Ometepe in the background

Yesterday, I worked all morning then went to Xochiquetzal for another support group meeting. Only one man came, and after he worked with another student, he decided to spend the next hour telling me about himself. My favorite part had to be when he told me this:
"I´m gay, but I love everyone. Everytime I shake someone´s hand, or hug them, or kiss them on the cheek to greet or meet them, I fall in love. I think that you can pass so much love like that, so I love everyone."
Don´t you think that the world would be so much better if everyone had this philosophy?

Today, I worked again in the morning, then went back to Xochiquetzal to meet Patricia so we could go to visit the hospital patients. Unfortunately, due to the marches and violence in the rotundas today in Managua, it was too dangerous to cross town to one of the hospitals, so she sent me home. As some sort of apology gift for making me come all the way to the foundation for nothing, she gave me a red ribbon bracelet that sports the slogan, "Sex Life with Responsibility", as well as tiny condoms with faces. NICE.

Those are the latest fun facts of my life. Tomorrow, I am heading up to León and Chinandega again to interview another organization and hang out at Xochiquetzal.

For now, I think I am going to reward myself for working on endless interview transcriptions with my latest and greatest indulgence...The Office. For those of you who have not been introduced to this masterpiece of modern television, I advise you to try it out; however, proceed with caution because it is highly addictive.

*A few shout outs...that include my food wishes for all of you...
Batesies: Enjoy Harvest Dinner! It is impossible to describe an event like this to a Nicaraguan because the idea that we need two church sized buildings for all the food is unfathomable. Take pictures and stick your heads under the chocolate fountain for me.
Zeta: Breathe, believe, eat some Lindt, and take care of yourself!
Friends abroad: I miss you all! Please let me know how you are doing, as well as describe the best meal you ate in your country today.
Mom and Dad: Give each other BIG hugs because I love you two, and perhaps go for a walk/date to Starbucks for me?
Farty sister, Nathan, and Plush Mister Puddin: Keep doin´what you´re doin´, because you´re doin´ it great. I miss and love you guys so much, and I think you need to eat some monkey bread.
to all others whom I miss (that means you): Life is uncertain, eat dessert first!


Keep writing to me! I love hearing from you.

Love,
Nicole

Another ISP week down, three more to go!

Hello everyone! Another week of the ISP period has gone by and I am feeling nothing short of swamped. I have been having some really great interviews and visits, but I spend so much time traveling to these meetings and working with Patricia that most all of my real work has to happen when I get home. As of right now, I have about five hours of Spanish interviews to transcribe, plus three large books that Patricia gave me on the structure of support groups to sift through, not to mention that I probably should start writing certain parts of my final paper at some point in the near future. Right now it feels like if I survive this, I just might survive my senior thesis next year. I guess we will have to see!

This week I met with different leaders in the HIV community and attended support groups, but the most impactful encounter I had was on Tuesday during a domestic visit. Patricia and I went to see a woman who had contracted HIV five years ago from her husband. She has six children, and currently lives in her mother´s house with about eleven other people. When we arrived, she was lying on the bed, and one of her daughter´s was helping to massage her arm and shake her joints because she was in so much pain. Her legs were covered in sores from an opportunistic infection, and when she needed to go to the bathroom, one of her daughters had to help her up and lead her slowly down the hall because she couldn´t walk. At one point, we sent one of the daughters to see how much an ointment would cost at the pharmacy down the road, and she came back and reported 40 córdobas. Unfortunately, when the other girl looked in her mother´s wallet, they had nothing. 40 córdobas...that is less than two dollars...how does this happen? Patricia and I each gave her 20 and she went to buy it, but that was only this time because we were there. What happens when she needs something else?

In the United States, people can live for years with HIV, but here in Nicaragua and other poor countries around the world, people deteriorate much faster just because they don´t have the money to buy the resources they need. It has only been five years, and this woman is already so close to death. And what did she do to deserve this? Marry a man who decided to cheat on her with an infected person? It is so difficult to comprehend. I stayed up for hours that night thinking about it, and I still don´t know what to think because it is so unfair. Next week, I will be visiting people with HIV in hospitals, and I am worried that this Tuesday´s visit isn´t the worst I will see over the course of this month.

In other news, the elections are finally over, but then again, they are far from over. The Sandista candidate won here in Managua, and the response was outrageous. My aunt started getting drunk at 5PM and played the same love ballad on repeat for two hours. The fireworks after the results were officially announced lasted until 3AM, and every so often another one goes off like a gunshot in the streets. The Sandinistas have loud caravans driving throughout the city, waving flags, playing music, and screaming to the excitement of the children playing in the streets.

Unfortunately, there have been some other issues too - Eduardo Montealegre, the PLC candidate who lost, was really banking on winning the elections in order to gain political immunity. He had been accused of certain illegal doings during his time as finance minister, and therefore really needed this victory to save his butt. As a result, there has been a surge of protests and violence, including a journalist who was attacked a few days ago and two children who got caught in the action. Today, when I went to the university to find some things I needed for my project, they were checking IDs at the all of the entrances and it took me a while to convince them that I had the right to enter. The US Embassy has also been sending out messages, but my mamá says that she things it will die down in the next few days. It is so hard to know what is true - the people are so aligned with their parties that they refuse to admit their party members are participating in the uproar. Also, it is impossible to get a straight story from the news, because all the channels and newspapers lean with certain parties. Who knows if I will ever get the real story!

Other than these sorts of stresses, I am feeling pretty good. This weekend, I will be going with Chelsea M. to visit Kendall on the island of Ometepe, which Nicaraguans call "the most beautiful place on Earth". I am very excited to visit, and it will definitely be a good break from all the problems in Managua. We will be staying on the isthmus inbetween the two volcanoes at Playa Santo Domingo, chilling on the beach, and working on our projects. Gosh...doing my homework on the beach in one of the most beautiful places in the world...what a life!

That is it for today - hopefully I will be able to write and post some pictures when I get back from Ometepe. For now, as a sort of thank you for reading some of the depressing parts of my post or just for taking the time out to come to my blog site, here is something that always makes me happier...pictures and videos of babies and other small children! (especially for you Lila!)

This is Melaña, a girl I met in the campo of El Salvador!
My 10 month old niece, Ashley Nicolle, at my house on Sunday!
My 4 year old niece, Francesca!
A boy I met at one of the support groups I attended this week. I gave him a Hershey´s Kiss, and as you can tell, there is more on his face and hands than in his mouth!


And finally, this is my 10 month old niece again, but this time she is dancing! Note that she can´t stand on her own, so she is leaning against the chair for support...hehe...


Thanks again for reading, and I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Love,
Nicole